pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
He literally asked permission to hit on me
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
