I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
