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there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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