But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
