I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
