My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
