jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
