A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
