Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
