I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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