Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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