before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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