Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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