was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
