my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
How's work?
Spinning.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
