I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
