That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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