i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize