I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
