I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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