Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
