Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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