we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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