I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
