come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
BRING THE BAGELS
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
