and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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