i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
