I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
