glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
True strength comes from lack of pants
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
