i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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