Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
