we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
