What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
