4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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