She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
