I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
