I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
