hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
