Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
