I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
