Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
