i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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