It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
