I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
