I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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