So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
