Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Randomize
