..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
