What tipped you off? The sombrero?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
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