Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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