Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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